Hands. Face. Space.

Tl;dr version: uk govt has rushed through law without the system to enact it yet, nhs is awesome, British people themselves even more awesome.

I am obliged by law to remain in my accomodation for 10 days, not leaving for anything. I will do this whether I am monitored or not, I get where the idea comes from even if it seems dumb when coming from a low prevalence place to a high prevalence place. Anyway, this so far has been my experience. A very David farrier experience.

gov.uk clearly outlined expectations, and also got me to fill in a form with my contact details, accomodations details and travel details included the chair I sat in on the plane. 

Awesome. 

Arrived in Heathrow- crammed into 1/3 of the space available with people from all sorts of other planes. Sigh.

Did not get asked for proof of negative covid test from NZ on my arrival in UK. Fair enough I guess, it was checked when I left NZ.

Start isolation.

Arrived at accomodation; two home covid testing kits in a parcel already waiting for me. Cool :)

No letter, but a booklet that details how to find the right postbox to send it in. Interesting.

Missed call on day 1, on my NZ number, from a UK number. Automated phone message told me they were calling from the isolation assurance team and would call again the next day.

Tried calling back on the number I missed: got a German answer phone message.

Day 2; did home covid test, but no instructions on whether I was allowed to leave house to drop it off.

Called number provided by gov.uk website. Turns out this was a number manned by (amazing) volunteers, who help people who need food or medicines dropped off. Like the student army I guess. They were unable to advise, but did ask repeatedly if I had enough food, if I needed medication, and was I feeling lonely? (Yes, no, a little). They also asked how I had found their number.

Back of the covid test booklet had a number (119) to call. When I called from a NZ sim, this went to emergency services. After a couple of embarrassing explanations that I didn’t need a fire engine or ambulance, I pulled out the NZ sim, put in the UK one and called again.

Got an NHS worker who was super helpful for registering the test, and advised me to wear a mask when I posted the test, and to come straight home again. Good advice. They had no idea about the isolation assurance team though. 

Put NZ sim back in. No calls the rest of the day. Updated Contact details online to include my UK number.

Missed a call day 3 on NZ sim- same thing again; same problem of getting a German answer phone message when I tried to call back. 

No missed texts informing me of fines or anything (although I know about them already from the website + the proposed threat of 10year imprisonment from being a geek and being glued to the UK news for weeks before coming)

Put in UK sim in case it was a similar quirk. Still getting the German answer phone.

Google “uk isolation assurance team”

Weirdly; first thing to come up is a official information act document outlining the script people use when they call. 

https://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/702277/response/1681315/attach/5/FOI1732%20Script%20only%20for%20UK%20returnees%20IAS.pdf?cookie_passthrough=1

Second thing was a warning about scams that occurred back in Sept 2020 from automated calls supposedly from the government.

https://mobile.twitter.com/phe_uk/status/1303708245744406530?lang=en

Third thing to come up was a cautionary tale from someone who had assumed the calls were a scam, but then had a visit from the cops.

https://bylinetimes.com/2020/08/19/covid-19-robo-government-what-happened-when-i-was-pursued-by-the-self-isolation-police/

Fourth and finally, the outline of the committee that made isolation like this law on the 3rd Feb - which gives a bit more detail about how it’s supposed to work, or at least the wrestle of bringing it into law.

Based on this I should have had two or three warning texts by now. 

https://committees.parliament.uk/publications/4557/documents/46106/default/

I’ve had to decommission my NZ sim today (my number is still valid, but a call from the UK to it will be super expensive to *me*). 

The UK government have my UK number.

I expect I will miss yet another call. 

I wonder if I will meet the cops.

I wonder who the isolation assurance team is assuring.